April Fools’ Shenanigans at Haley Marketing Group

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Yesterday, we decided to have a little fun with our proofreading team here at Haley Marketing Group. They review hundreds of blog posts each month, so we slipped this one into the mix.

If they typos weren’t bad enough–the content was surely jaw dropping!

It’s an excellent case study in how not to blog for staffing:

Spring Hiring Strategies for a More Effective Workplace.

Spring is a hard time for hiring people because they dont’ really want to work. If you want to find someone who isn’t totally lazy, boy are you going to have a big job ahead of you. Here are a few ideas on how to find employees that won’t make you want to drink you’re lunch.

Five Questions to Ask:

Where do you see yourself in five years?

If they answer anything other than “I don’t know” then they are lying. No one can see into the future except maybe that blond lady who talks to dead people on TV. The rest of the interview will probably be all lies too. Cut the interview short by pretending to have a headache if you can.

What kind of car do you drive?

People who have old cars probably brake down and need repairs a lot (the cars I mean). They will miss work and be late, which is a pain. Try to hire people whose cars are three years old or less and definitely not people who ride the bus. Gross!

Are you a cat person or a dog person?

People who like cats work well independently and don’t need much supervision. Unlike dog people who require constant attention and praise. On the bright side, they will do whatever you want if you give them treats. So if you want to get something done, don’t forget to swing by the donut shop.

Do you have kids?

Kids leak a lot. Especially when they are young.  Often on there parents – so stay FAR away from people with kids. They also sometimes need to leave early for things like parent/teacher conferences, graduations and minor surgery (minor – duh!).

Additional tips:

Tell you’re staffing agency that you didn’t like the guy they sent even if you did because then they will give you money off.

Don’t hire girls. They can’t lift as much as men and once a month, you know, crazy town.

So if your looking for people who are NOT LAZY and prolly don’t steal on the job, call the fools at April Staffing. We’re waiting for you.


So if you’re looking for professional, compelling copy for your website or marketing materials, trust the writing team at Haley Marketing. This nonsense is out of our system until next April Fools’ Day, we promise.

 

 

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