No waxing philosophical today or customer service how-tos.
Today’s post is all about fun! I did a little digging online and found these, just for you:
Best (or Worst) Excuses Staffing Employees Give for Not Coming to Work
From Brenda Long, Director of Marketing for Avionte:
Brenda asked her staffing software clients for a few of the best excuses they have gotten from their employees for not coming to work. Whether they’re fabricated or just brutally honest, these excuses are undeniably funny:
- Unemployment pays me more.
- I don’t have clean clothes and I need to do laundry.
- My dog was murdered. (Note: the dog was barking in the background.)
- I am being taken to the hospital to have a baby and I didn’t know I was pregnant.
- I won’t be in today. I’m still drunk from last night.
- My neighbor’s daughter got a round hair brush stuck in her hair and I need to help her get it out.
- I’m just not motivated to go to work today, but I’ll be there tomorrow!
- I’m VERY sick and barely able to talk. (The employee was seen later that day on TV at a ball game.)
- I’m just too good for this kind of work.
- My man won’t let me go to work.
Where Did You Get Your Education?
We actually used this joke in a recent HaleyMail newsletter:
A bank manager was in the final stages of hiring a cashier and was down to two final applicants — one of whom would get the job. The first one interviewed was from a small college in upstate New York. A nice young man, but a bit timid.
Then the bank manager called for the second man: “Jim Johnson!” Up stepped a burly young man who seemed quite sure of himself.
“He looks like he can take care of any situation,” thought the manager, and decided, there and then, to hire him.
He turned to the first applicant and told him he could go. Turning to Johnson, he said, “Now Jim, I like the way you carry yourself — that’s an important asset for the job as cashier. However, you must be precise. I noticed you didn’t fill out the place on the application where we asked your formal education.”
Jim looked a little confused so the manager said, “Where did you get your financial education?”
“Oh,” replied Jim — “Yale.”
“That’s very good … excellent. You’re hired!” said the manager. “Now that you’re working for us, what do you prefer to be called?”
Jim answered “I don’t care… Yim… or Mr. Yonson.”